Cake Wrecks...a tasty site!

You've got to check out this blog... I've added it to my blog list but here's a link to it as well. Cake Wrecks. Isn't that a great name? It promises exactly what the title implies. The pictures show cakes made by professionals that turned into complete wrecks! Some of them are hilarious, such as this one that I've posted... Take a look because it will certainly make you smile! You won't believe some of the messages people have paid to put on cakes... "Sorry About Your Herpes" "Nobody Loves You". I'm not making this up! I love it. Talk about great entertainment! The things that are popping in my mind for future cake orders!

There are also pictures of cakes where the baker didn't understand quite what was being asked for. One customer wanted a black high heel shoe on a cake and got a black tall mountain instead. Note to self...when ordering a cake make sure to be very, very specific with details. "Yes, I would like a black high heel, you know a woman's shoe?"

Unsportsmanlike Conduct!

Ok, so I suck. I ran out of time last night and didn't run. Plus, I had a bit of wine which didn't help matters. Today is a new day and I promise myself that I'll run tonight! And mix in some other exercises. I should really add in squats today.

All in all yesterday was a good day. Work was buys which made time pass quickly, and I got to meet up with some friends after work for a drink. When I got home my husband had dinner ready and I got to catch up with him and my son. Talk about liking the coming home to dinner on the table! I could get spoiled with that stuff! Seriously, I appreciated it very much...very nice of the boys to do for me! Tonight I think I get to help with yard duty since I volunteered to be of assistance. All's fair in love and chores, right?

Feelin' Good!

Yes, ma'am I am feelin' good today! I made it through my hotter than hell workout last night and felt pretty pleased with the results. Of course the Negative Nancy in my head kept saying, "If you just rest a bit you can do more!" but I chose to ignore her. I did what I started out to do.

What was great about my run last night is that I didn't feel the slightest bit of soreness when I first took off. Usually I skip a day (or several) between running because in the past my legs would hurt when I would try to get going. I didn't feel any pain or discomfort at all when I got started yesterday. That made me feel so confident that I've improved my skills and that my muscles are healthier than they used to be. I also completed three sets of 20 each of sit ups and push ups between my laps, so I was glad to mix things up a little. It felt good to go a bit further than just cardio. I had wanted to go for some squats, too, but there was another lady on the track and I didn't want to look overly goofy. Plus, by the time I finished my last lap I was glad I didn't push my legs more since they were ready for a break.

I'm going to shoot for three days in a row of running! It would be great if I could get in the habit of running every day, or at least five or six days a week. I'm going to love accomplishing that goal! Right now I just run about two miles a day. It's also a goal for me to increase my distance. I'm not worried about speed at this point, but I do need to work on form. Last night I tried hard to keep my legs higher while I was jogging and it definitely makes for a harder workout. If I can improve my form, distance of each jog and increase the frequency of how much I jog each week I'll be feelin' even better about myself!

Now, if I can just remember to download some new tunes to help keep me moving.....

aaahhh! big smiles for you!

I made it through my run last night...heat and all! Ok, so it wasn't that huge of a run (six laps which is a mile and a half), and there was a slight breeze to knock out some of the heat, but I was grateful to get it over with. This evening the temperature is supposed to be even hotter, but I'm going to stick with it and get another run knocked out. I'm going to try to add some push-ups and sit-ups between laps so it should be a more complete workout. I should do some squats.... but we'll see. It's hard to stay motivated when I don't have anyone there pushing me to keep going.

My son did a pretty terrific job at football practice last night. He pushed through the heat without complaint. He had a huge (and I mean obese) kid land on his face while they were doing tackle drills. The helmet was on but the little guy complained that it hurt. He toughed it out so maybe he can find some humor in it today as long as he can keep "Tiny" at bay in the future. My son was able to tackle "Tiny" at one point last night which I know made him feel very proud. This is his first season to play football so he's definitely encountering a lot of new experiences.

I guess I'll get in the mentality to tough it out, too. It's crazy the mind game I have to play with myself to look forward to working out. And, it's not like I've only been doing this for a few months...I've been running for about a year now. Granted, my motivation has certainly improved during this past year and my running skills have greatly improved, but I still have to psyche myself up to get going and to keep going. The rewards are worth the battle, but geeze.... I keep thinking the struggle will go away and working out and running will just become second nature. I hope that it does. I want running to be like brushing my teeth or putting on my makeup...something I want to do and is also a necessity. (Well, putting on makeup isn't a necessity but I enjoy how I look after I get it on my face.)

Here's to a great workout this evening...an even better one than the day before! : )

Must get out of LAZY mode!

I have been so lazy when it comes to working out the past several days. I think I ran on Thursday, and did a CrossFit workout a couple of days before that. My behaviors this past weekend didn't do anything positive for my physique either....eating out at some super gross (I mean diner style grease!) places and consuming full-bodied beer on Saturday night. I should've run some serious mileage last night to help compensate, but did I??? Absolutely not.

I see in my immediate forecast jogging this evening while my son is at football practice. That means it will be hot as hell in the blazing sun, but if I don't run at that time then I most likely won't get it done today. I'm trying to psyche myself up for it so I won't back out or cut my run time short. These are the days that I wish I could get to work later so I could jog in the mornings, or I wish I had a gym membership so I could workout in the air conditioning no matter what time of day it is.

There was a time not too long ago that I did get up before work and jog in the early mornings. But, that meant I got up at 4:00 a.m. because I had to leave my house by 6:15 to commute. I found myself falling asleep while I was driving in to work most mornings, and again in the evenings when I was heading home. I would try to get to bed before 10:00 each night, but that's not always possible when you have a family and have to accomplish certain tasks each night before bed. So, I made an effort to work out more in the evenings. It was going great until the Texas summer heat hit. I can't wait for cooler temperatures, but that's probably another two months away.

Oh well...enough complaining. Back to psyching myself up for an afternoon run in the blazing sun! I guess if my son can practice football in full gear in the same conditions I shouldn't be griping so much, right?

Visual Fun

There are a lot of fun things to do on the Internet. I haven't been a huge fan of "social networking" but I think it's kind of fun that people can stay in touch with friends and family that way. I'm still not 100% sold on the idea of putting pictures of my family out there, and my husband is definitely not a fan of putting our pictures on the web for safety reasons. He's a lot more Internet savvy than I am so at this point I just trust his judgment.

I thought I would share with you an interesting way to put yourself on the Web without really putting yourself out there. A form of pseudo-identification, if you will. I found a cartoon-ish way of putting my image on any site that I might want to complete a profile of myself on. Check out www.faceyourmanga.com when you get a chance. If you are familiar with creating an image of yourself on the Wii game system then you'll find it is very similar to that. You get to pick your personal characteristics and an image is created based on your choices. Here's mine...

Anyway, it's not super exciting or anything, but it's something fun to play with if you have time. It makes me feel like I can personalize my Internet info with a little more detail without overexposing myself. Happy Manga-ing!

Literary Entertainment

I'm a sucker for a great book. I can get lost for hours just sitting on my duff with my face buried in an enveloping story. Rainy days are always a good excuse for me to curl up in a chair with a book, a blanket and my dogs. It's too bad there aren't enough rainy days for me to whittle away like that! (Damn the need for a job!)

I must admit, though, that some books are disturbing. I just finished Those Who Save Us (forgive me for not remembering the author's name) and really had a hard time not filing it away on my bookshelf before I completed it. It's fiction but based on events that took place in Nazi Germany during World War II. There are stories of the atrocities that Jewish families were made to endure. At times the stories made me very sad and disgusted at what humanity is capable of doing.

Even though I feel it is a duty of mine to be knowledgeable about the horrific things that go on in our world, I really prefer to read about funny things. I love writers that make me laugh out loud and share their wit with my husband when he's in the room while I'm reading. One of my most favorite authors is David Sedaris. I found him quite by accident one day years ago while wandering through a bookstore. He writes about growing up as a gay kid with OCD and a totally dysfunctional family. He has a comedic slant on just about everything. I love what he writes! Here's a verbal sampling...



David also has a hilarious sister, Amy Sedaris, that you can check out on YouTube if you need a good laugh. She's very scattered with her thoughts, and may make you wonder if she's on crack, but I think she's an absolute hoot!

Side note...see if you come from a dysfunctional family (like me!) then you can be funny, too!!! I think those of us who are what I'll call Dfunct Survivors are some of the most hilarious people in the world! If only I could write like David....something to work on, eh?

I have two other books, not written by Sedaris, that are on my reading list at the moment. I grabbed Running with Scissors last weekend since it was sitting on my bookshelf, but a friend just loaned me The Art of Racing in the Rain. We'll see where these tales take me....

A change in perspective

Ok, so I'm pretty new at this blogging business and I'm learning as I go. And, it looks like I've learned my first valuable lesson when it comes to what I choose to write.... Keep comments that anyone I'm writing about might feel are personal off my blog.

I feel what I'm posting is harmless since there are only a handful of people who read this other than me. However, not everyone is a fan of putting personal info out on the web to be viewed. That includes some people I've referenced on my blog. So, I'm going to be more conscious of what I write and how it might make who I'm referring to feel.

At first when I thought about editing my posts I was upset. I thought that what I write is my intellectual property and I can post what I want, when I want. I guess that's true if all I'm writing about are generalities and myself, not referring to a specific person that will figure out my not-so-hidden meanings. And, let's face it... I've posted things that I wanted certain people to figure out. They did. It's worked in my favor and against it. But, this is really a privacy issue.

I'm not a very private person. I've always been an open book so I don't always relate well to super private people. Maybe I should. I'm going to work harder to respect other people's privacy. And, actually that's something that I probably need to do when I'm having conversations, too. Sometimes I talk about things that probably should be kept quiet even if I tell myself I'm not gossiping. Really that's a matter of opinion, and the topics I've discussed that include other people...well, they might feel as if they're being gossiped about if I were to repeat the conversation to them. I can't hide behind the "I didn't mean any harm" statement.

The bottom line is this... if I want to write, and I want to write about a lot of things, then I will include more perspectives than just my own when I'm putting together a post. I think that's really a great way I can grow as a writer anyway.

Don't worry!

I'm certainly a worrier to the point that I wonder if I'm neurotic sometimes. I seem to worry on a regular basis about all sorts of things that I shouldn't even be thinking about for long stretches of time. I worry about my son....will he have a safe day, a good day, is he content, does he enjoy his life, will he get hurt at practice, is he eating enough or too much, does he get enough exercise, is he a bully or is he being bullied, does he really think I'm a good mom...the list goes on and on.

But wait, that's not all! I also worry about my thoughts, my dreams that I keep to myself because they don't fit with the life I've created, the chores I haven't completed, if I have bad breath, how my body changes as I age, if my sister thinks I'm cool, if my son thinks I'm cool, if my mom thinks I'm a good daughter, am I a good wife, am I the best mom I can be, do I have food in my teeth or enough lipstick on, are my pantie lines visible, are my teeth white enough, how much will I shrink in old age (because I really can't afford to lose much height), that I need to work out more, give back to the community, pray more, listen better.... Ok, I'll shut up now.

Why do I do this to myself? I have to correct myself mentally all the time when I find obsessive thoughts invading my head. I have to tell myself that I'm thinking irrationally and to move on to better things. Are other people this way? I remember hearing from several parents over the years that something happens to you when you become a parent; that worry takes over in all kinds of ways. Is that when my thoughts changed, when I became a parent? I don't remember being this crazy when I was pre-maternal. Maybe I was crazy but I just thought that I was cool and whatever I thought up was brilliant. Who knows....

I do know that it seems to be getting worse as I age. When I was in my twenties I thought that when I turned thirty that this wealth of wisdom would fall from the sky and I would feel so calm and knowledgeable about so many things. Well, that was a few years ago and I'm getting more neurotic and vain as the years tick by. I guess I'll try to focus on the rumor that when a woman enters her forties she becomes carefree and comfortable in her own skin. Ok. I'm counting on this to take place. I'm going to see if I can make it happen sooner than when I turn forty. The thought of having to worry about my worries for another six years just might push me over the edge for good!

Looking for a job, eh?

I am baffled....completely baffled. At work I've been calling to set up interviews for a position we have available. Granted, the position isn't glamorous, and part of the job duties involved are working in a warehouse, but I am stunned at the caliber of some of the men I've been speaking with on the phone.

I had one gentleman answer his phone with, "Yeah...." until he heard that I was calling about a job opportunity. Then he became the most eloquent man of the day! Go figure. Then he had the audacity to say he could stop by sometime the next afternoon. Uh....NO! You can schedule an appointment, Dude, or I'll be happy to lose your resume. Turns out he wasn't really ready for an interview because he had to run some errands for his son and would have to get back to me about scheduling an appointment. Hmmmm....I wonder if our hours of operation would fit ok with his errand schedule. How about we don't find out....

Another gentleman, who claimed to be bilingual, was really only fluent in a language other than English. After saying our company name at least ten times he still couldn't get the first word, nor could he understand the name of the street I was directing him to. Even spelling it out didn't help. Fortunately he lived over an hour away from our office and his commute would've been treacherous, so he decided it wasn't a good idea to come in for an interview. I had to agree!

Don't get me wrong...we have had a couple of seemingly great men apply for the position. Not everyone seems to have forgotten phone etiquette and the need for professionalism. I'm just stunned that some adults who have sent out their resumes can behave in ways that make them look absolutely horrible right off the bat. Oh well...I guess I should thank them for making the screening process go just a bit faster, right?

Ok, so where was our anthem?

As I'm sure most of you were doing last night, my husband and I were watching the Olympics. We were so proud to watch the success of the men's swimmers last night, especially in the face of the arrogance the French men had exuded. Watching the women's gymnastics was great, too, even though the ladies didn't perform as they had hoped.

The talent these people have is amazing! Their dedication is more than admirable! We were so proud to watch all of them.

I just have one complaint.... Sing our National Anthem, for Pete's sake! I can't stand watching our countrymen and women stand there in such a moment of glory and not at least mouth the words to The Star Spangled Banner. Especially with all the global battles our country has going on, no matter if they agree with them or not, they should stand as proud as possible taking the Gold.

I found myself thinking, "Oh, maybe they are just really nervous and zoned out." If that is the case, then all future Olympians (and their support staff) please take note... I know it took you guys a long time to travel to China. Couldn't someone have taken the initiative to practice with our teams on the flight over so they would comfortably know the words??? Here's a little something to get you all started...

Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hail'd at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, thro' the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watch'd, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof thro' the night that our flag was still there.
O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

That's only the first verse, guys. YOU CAN DO IT!

Don't bother with the scale...

Sometimes I absolutely can't stand my physique! Too often it seems when I'm not paying attention to my weight or how my body looks is when it looks it's best. Let me take on a few good workouts in a week's time and my body looks like mush in the mirror! What's up with that???

I don't weigh myself regularly because I tell how I'm doing by how my clothes fit. If things get a little snug then I lay off eating the extra sweets and try to run a little more. I like being that way, too. I don't feel like I'm bound to a scale. Yesterday when I was getting ready for bed I looked briefly in the mirror while I was changing and my torso looked blobbish. So this morning I didn't look while I was getting dressed. I'm hoping by the time I look again, maybe tonight, I'll see the blob has disappeared and a toned torso will be staring back at me! Perhaps when I leave work today I'll change into something pin-up-ish before I run my errands. Skinny leg pants and high heels always make me feel sexy, even if I'm cursed by the blobs!

Is that everything?

I'm a very cynical person. So are most of the people in my family. I guess we're that way from getting burned in the past and learning the hard way to be more aware. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but sometimes that's so hard. Especially when I've known someone for years and I still wonder if I'm getting all there is to know.

I am a firm believer that if I purposely avoid telling someone the truth when I am asked about a specific issue, even if I'm remaining silent because I don't want to hurt their feelings, that I am being deceptive. Therefore, if I ask someone about something specific and that person responds with vague statements that don't fully address the issue, then I feel that person is being deceptive to me. (And, it's even worse when I keep bringing up the issue so it's obvious I'm trying to work through something!!!) I don't want to be deceived, particularly by anyone close to me. Tell me the truth whether I like it or not and we'll deal with it. Life will continue to move forward.

How am I supposed to deal with not knowing if I'm being told the truth by someone very close to me? I've asked questions, I've received answers, but I know there is more to the story. I just want FULL disclosure so I can prepare for the future. I'm not good with ambiguity. I like to know what I need to prepare for even if whatever will happen is a year from now.

So, if you're reading this and you have a close relationship with me, and you know there is an unresolved issue between us...just spill the beans already!!! Have enough faith in me that I can deal with it.

I'm a lot stronger than you may think.

Empowered!

You know, it's amazing what an outfit can do you!

I am fond of dressing in certain girly fashions...just about anything that has a 1940's look to it is a favorite of mine. (Kind of like some vintage pin up images you can find, just more conservative for day-time than with boobs or garters flashing!)

Today I'm wearing a pencil skirt and a fitted blouse with a high-waisted belt, and I feel good but it isn't one of my most favorite old-fashioned looking outfits.

What's funny is when I left for work this morning I was thinking how I wish I would've heard someone tell me before I left the house that I looked beautiful or pretty today....some kind of compliment. But, I always tell myself I don't need those compliments...they are always nice to receive but I shouldn't be needy about it. (Empower yourself, right?) The wonderful thing is that I did end up receiving compliments when I least expected them. I've gotten two compliments today on my appearance with one friend telling me I looked very chic! It definitely made me sit a little straighter and smile a little more. What a nice surprise!

If you like what someone is wearing, or you think their makeup or hair looks great, make sure to tell them. You may just end up making someone feel a little more empowered!

Learning CrossFit

A few months ago I began working out utilizing the CrossFit website with my husband and his best friend "Crumbles". Now, don't get me wrong...I am not as committed as they are, and I don't have access to a workout facility every day, but I am doing what I can. I really love the results and the quick, high intensity workouts.

My dilemma is this...even though the guys invite me to workout with them regularly I feel very inadequate as a workout partner (or better yet a third wheel). I've been told by some CrossFit friends of ours (and my husband) that I'm doing fine, that I should give myself more credit. But, have you checked out the wesbsite lately? www.crossfit.com The chicks on there are so cut and muscular! Obviously they have daily access to a training facility, and are going every day, so their results show. I'm pretty toned, but I work out only three to four times a week, with my workout sometimes only consisting of running. I look at those women, admiring their accomplishments, but just feel a bit down because at this point in my life I can't participate like they can due to financial constraints.

This is what causes me to feel inadequate when I'm working out with my husband. He and his best friend push each other competitively...all the time. I don't get that same push. Sure, they encourage me and help me with form and motivation, but it's not the same. They don't say the same things to me as they say to each other...maybe it's a guy thing. I try hard not to feel like a complete goof ball. Maybe this is something that will pass with time and as I progress with CrossFit. But, at the moment, it is hard to feel amazingly productive working out with two guys who feed off of their competitive workouts when I can't compete with them. I feel like a side show. I want my own workout partner!

There is a CrossFit facility that has opened up near my home, and I have been given the opportunity to work out with some of the regulars a few times. I love the feeling of the group workouts...it's usually men and women of all different training levels, and even though I'm one of the few people doing the scaled down version of the WOD (workout of the day) I feel like I'm part of the group more so than when I'm just with Hubby and Crumbles. I'm not blaming them, it's just the way it is in my head. Something for me to work on...

UPDATE: I worked out with the guys last night (8.5.08) and it went wonderfully! My husband ended up being my coach since Crumbles had a work out date and I loved every minute of it! I feel like he didn't push me like he would've pushed his buddy, but he kept me moving through all three rounds of the workout and encouraged me to try harder the entire time. I look forward to when I can workout like that all the time!

MY FIRST POST...

Welcome to Securityville!

I am dedicating this space to all things "Shorty" (that's me). By that I mean what I think, what I feel, questions that I have about my life and lives I see around me, and what makes me feel secure or insecure. Hence the title Securityville! It's kind of a pun....

(If you were to ask my husband, he'd probably tell you I have some major insecurities.)

I must agree with him, but I also have things about me that I'm very secure with. I am going to focus on the positive things in my life that help me to feel secure, but I also want to address the insecurities so that I can overcome them.

Securities that I'll focus on beginning today.... being a mom, being a wife, trusting others, being an adequate Crossfit partner, marriage, my appearance. Let's see how it goes...